Slowly but surely

Avalon continues to make progress. I find myself becoming very impatient and have to remind myself that she is still so little and still has a ways to go before she can come home and that she is doing so much better than anyone expected.

She is up to full amount on her feeds. She has 4 tube feeds and 4 oral feeds a day. Two of those are breastfeeding and two are bottle. I wish I could nurse her every single time, but it's just really not possible to drive over there that much and to leave my other girls. I'm glad she is at least getting only my milk.

Exclusively pumping has been interesting. I'm so grateful that I already knew how to pump and the mechanics of it and how to have it be the most productive. I'm currently getting at very least 2 ounces per side but typically 2.5-3 per side. I'm so grateful to be blessed with a lot of milk. It's such a huge deal for Avalon to get it. The NICU staff has had to start freezing all I bring in because there's too much haha. I cannot wait until I get to feed Avalon exclusively and not pump any more. I am also so grateful that my insurance has covered the cost of a hospital pump rental for 2 months which will get us through her NICU stay. It makes a huge difference.

I do feel a bit like a zombie. I pump every 2 hours during the day and every 3 at night, with one 4 hour stretch. It takes me a good 30 minutes each time so I'm definitely not getting as much sleep. But it's completely worth it. I've never considered for the slightest moment not doing it. To me there is no choice.

Avalon is still having a few apnea and bracycardia spells each day. They are decreasing overall since birth, but still there. I hope she grows out of them very quickly.

She absolutely loves breastfeeding and is always so content after I feed her. It melts my heart. When I talk to her she tries so hard to open her eyes and look at me, even if she's too tired to do so. When she is alert she just stares and stares at me. I love getting to snuggle her and talk to her and kiss her little head. She responds to me SO much that it just fills my heart with joy and shows me what a huge miracle being a mother is. And what a miracle this little girl is that I've been given. She makes our family feel complete and whole. It breaks my heart that her sisters have not been able to see her. Since it is RSV season they are not allowed in the NICU. I can only hope that Avalon gets to come home soon and be with them.

The next goal with Avalon is to have the IV out. Hopefully within 2 days it will be gone. Probably no longer than 3. And once that is gone we can start dressing her (I won't do too much because it's not really necessary at this point). Then we start working on weaning her off the temperature controlled issolette and having her maintain her own temperature. Once she does that she can be in an open bed. Those are the most immediate goals for now and what I will concentrate on.

I'm still working on crocheting her a blanket. It helps keep me calm and sane and pass the time. My girls help a lot with that too. Oh how grateful I am for them and their snuggles!