Sorry it has taken me sooooo long to post! It's just been crazy and I've been exhausted. I'm home now, which has things settled down. Ok first I will tell my labor story. (I am pumping while I write this haha)
So as you know I went in on Sunday with contractions and more mucus plug lost. They put me on a huge dose of something...can't remember what...to try to stop my labor. An hour later my water broke. They stopped the one medicine and started Magnesium in order to help develop the baby's nervous system. The mag helped slow down the contractions as well. The mag was the worst thing I've ever had. So awful. I also got the first dose of betamethadone (steroid to develop baby's lungs) Which burns and hurts like a mother just an fyi haha.
The contractions didn't stop but settled down and weren't painful. So the next morning they moved me up to antinatal ward to just try to keep her in as long as possible. I was put on every cocktail of antibiotics that you can imagine. Literally I lost count of them all.
I made it through the first 24 hours and got the second dose of betamethadone. That night my contractions started picking up again so they moved me back down to labor and delivery. Avalon was not tolerating the contractions well, even the small ones. She'd have "late decels" (meaning the placenta was not getting good blood flow) with every contraction. So they kept me on the monitors all night. Eventually the contractions settled down again. (this whole time my contractions never stopped completely.) So they moved me back upstairs.
That night I was getting quite painful contractions. I kept timing them because I thought they'd just stop again like they had kept doing. Finally after 2 hours of them going from every 15 minutes to every 8 then every 5 I finally called the nurse. The baby had a really bad decel with one so they immediately took me back down to labor and delivery. I was very upset to be back down there. The beds are made for labor not sitting there and I was already in so much pain. They kept me on monitors all night again. I was pretty beside myself at this point and just wanted everyone to leave me alone but not leave haha. Baby was still having decels with the contractions but looked great in between contractions so they just kept monitoring her.
The next morning a couple high risk doctors that had been working with me the entire time came in and did an ultrasound just to see how much fluid was there to see if they could do an amniocentises to gauge lung development. But they only found the tiniest pocket of fluid because all the contractions just kept forcing out all the fluid.
After consulting with two other high risk maternal fetal doctors and asking my instinct and gut feeling (which was I felt she needed to be out and would do better out than in at this point) they decided it would be better to deliver her. They said I could start pitocin to get the labor going, even though the greatest possibility was that she wouldn't tolerate labor and I'd have to have an emergency c section. I really had no hope at this point of a vaginal delivery but I was ok with that. I felt so strongly that she needed to come.
They started the pitocin about 9:30 Am. I was already at a 4 but my cervix was only 30% effaced. So I knew I had a ways to go.
The contractions started getting painful and crampy. Baby was still decelling but since they were about 10 minutes apart she was having plenty of time to recover.
Here is now what happened that I think made the amazing vaginal birth possible. An incredible anethesiologist came and talked to me. He was recommending that I get an epidural because that way if I did have to have the emergency c section I would be ready, otherwise I'd have to be put under general anethesia. I agreed I'd much rather have an epidural and be awake during a c section than to keep trying to go unmedicated and have to be put under. He was so sweet and explained everything so well and joked and just made me feel good. He placed the epidural with great care. Then he did something that I think made all the difference. He said that epidurals usually lower blood pressure and since mine already runs really low that he was going to give me a constant small amount of a medicine to raise my blood pressure. It raised it just a bit, to about 110/70 rather than my typical 85/50. As soon as my blood pressure was up The baby stopped having decels every contraction. She was still having them but not every time and not as severe. I was thrilled.
At about 1:30 they checked me again and I was at 5 but still only about 40% effaced. I was very discouraged. I had the epidural super low and I was pretty much feeling everything. Which is what I wanted. It was hard though because I couldn't do any of my normal pain management techniques because I couldn't get out of bed or off the monitors.
Here is where I did something that technically I probably shouldn't have but I'm a firm believer in listening to my body. I KNEW I wasn't dilated enough but I wanted to bear down a bit. There was sooooo much pressure with the contractions. So For a couple contractions in a row (they were every 2-3 minutes by now) I bore down just a little tiny bit. It felt so amazing and right.
Just a few minutes later the contractions suddenly started getting really really intense right down low in the middle. I was trying to tell the nurse how intense it was. She seemed a bit skeptical but asked if I wanted to be checked. I almost told her no because I was sure it was too soon and wrong but I said yes. She checked me during a contraction and I wanted to scream it was soooo much pain/pressure. I was fighting hard not to push. It was soooo intense. At first I thought I was the same because she didn't immediately say something but then when the contraction stopped she said, "Ya you are complete. Don't Push!"
I KNEW listening to my body was the right thing! I'd made it and baby was still tolerating it! They had to literally run my bed back to the OR (I had to deliver there so they could pass Avalon right to the NICU). The short distance was torture. I wanted to push sooooo bad. I just kept breathing through it and trying not to. The two high risk doctors made it just in time but didn't even have time to put gowns on. DH was with me this whole time of course. He had managed to get into his bunny suit. They wouldn't let me mom come in. As soon as they told me it was ok to push she was born. I felt every bit of it. It felt sooooo good to push. I pushed one long slow push and she was born. They let DH cut the cord. They were able to milk it a few times before cutting it. She came out with her eyes open and clenching her fists open and shut and looking around :) She didn't cry. I just got a glimpse of her and they put her through the window into NICU. I only saw that she had some dark hair and I was so shocked and so pleased.
My placenta came shortly after and they saved it for testing. The cord looked good though. They took samples from it as well. To see if they can figure out why I ruptured early.
A nurse came into the room and said, "Her APGAR is 9! She is still just on room air and looking all around!" Both doctors looked at each other and said WOW!
They took me back to my room and DH went to baby. I felt fantastic. I was able to get up right away and pee (such a great feeling haha) which shows I really did feel most everything if I was already able to walk completely on my own.
After a little bit they came in with a cute paper and two of her pictures. I couldn't believe how much dark hair she had and how good she looked! This is that picture:
Then DH came back and took my mom to see her. All the nurses were thrilled to see DH and baby had the exact same nose. They thought it was soooo cute.
They came back with some adorable pictures and the news that she was still just on room air and doing perfect!
They then took me to see her. I couldn't believe how tiny and perfect she looked. And I just couldn't stop stroking her hair. She was already vigorously sucking a pacifier! The nurses just kept laughing and saying, "She thinks she's full term!"
She continued all through the night with only a couple little apnea spells and still no oxygen.
Normally they don't let them start trying to nurse at this age for at very least a week, sometimes two. But by the next day she was wanting to so badly that they let me do some non nutritional latching. So I pumped right before so she wasn't overwhelmed by milk (colostrum which I was already producing quite a bit of) She latched on immediately and kepted sucking! She did back and forth for a good 20 minutes! They nurse just kept shaking her head and laughing, saying it was unheard of.
Warning: Breastfeeding photo to follow
She didn't want to stop! They said she did so well that the next day I could try doing a full feed with her and not pump first. They also doubled the amount she was getting in her tube.
She did great with her first real feed yesterday! Getting several drops of colostrum :) They said I could start feeding her twice a day!
I fed her last night and she did perfect. But she was not happy when I left. She had a bit of a rough night and wouldn't settle down. They said she just wanted to eat. She got upset so much that she had several spells of apnea (Booo!) and they had to put her on just a tiny bit of oxygen which they said they will take off later today, and also gave her a dose of caffiene to help combat the apnea. The nurse this morning finally swaddled her and that has helped keep her calm. She ripped out her feeding tube at one point so I got some cute pictures without it in haha. She hates it so much and would just be happy to get it all from the boob haha.
Today my milk is "in" much more. She nursed super well but I let down several times and each time she'd swallow so much that she'd forget to breathe and have a little spell. Just minor things. We expected it. It will just take her time to learn and grow. She got lots of milk today! After I burped her she konked out completely and was super content when I left. I go back at 5 to feed her again. Hopefully she does better this time and she can go off the caffiene in a couple days.
She is still doing better than anyone ever hoped. I was 32 weeks 0 days when I had her.
I'm hoping this latest development is just a tiny step back and then we will get more steps forward!
I am pumping around the clock and have been able to provide all she needs. I have a hospital grade pump at home to use.
Here are some pictures of my precious angel! She is so so incredible and a little spitfire!
